Monday, October 10, 2005

Desperately seeking...

As of today, CCAA has had our dossier logged in to their system for a full 2 months. I think of our dossier with all its pictures and official, notarized, certified & authenticated documents, just sitting there in a huge pile surrounded by hundreds of other dossiers, waiting until it becomes eligible to move into the coveted Matching Room<~~~oooohhh, ahhhhh.

So, am I anxious about this whole process and wait? Well that was the question raised yesterday when I lunched with other local adoptive Moms-to-be, Cindy, Jill and Sonia. We were discussing anxieties and stress related to the entire adoption process and especially now, as we are all experiencing the long wait for our referrals. I said that I am just going with the flow, but then had to wonder about that statement. Maybe I think that I'm not stressing or don't openly realize it, but could that be the underlying cause of my current bout of insomnia?

I have so much to do before the arrival of Baby S, but with my lack of sleep and an energy level of zero, nothing is getting done. If push came to shove and miraculously someone said that our baby would be ready for us in 2 weeks, trust me, we would have the crib together and the nursery though not perfect, more than ready for her arrival. I am amazed though at how some parents-to-be are so organized and ready with nurseries complete. I sit with a painted room and some furniture...and of course a lot of pretty clothing but nothing practical. I have been asked to set up a baby registry at some stores so that people will know what we need. The problem is, I don't know what we need! What are the necessary items for an approximate 12 month old girl? It is soooo overwhelming. We have the crib & changing table, a stroller as well as his & her carriers. I know we need a car seat and a high chair, but after that, where do we go?

So my blogging buddies, help out your poor, disorganized, uninformed, insomniac friend and let me know what things Baby S and her parents *must* have. Also, if you're stressing, how do we deal with it?



  1. Lisa,
    Get a packing list from the julydragonflies website and go from there. You can have people buy you bottles, toys, and tylenol type stuff for your trip to China. Just a thought!


  2. Tiffany's idea is great.

    Let see, one year old?
    Toys are such a good thing for that age.
    Stacking toys, fill and dump toys, pull yourself up and push along toys. Toys to stick your finger in and bite on.
    It will be nice to have a lot of them that you can rotate and take out at different times.
    A diaper bag was an absolute essential.
    Lullaby/Berceuse was a well, lullably cd that we used a lot - so maybe some music and cds.

    Board books and other books.
    We still used a sling when ours were 1 1/2 yrs old.

    Off the top of my head, thats what I came up with.

    Ooh. Diaper service, if your going with cloth.
    Maid service.
    Flannel face cloths (nice and soft)
    First Aid kit
    erm...first aid course.

  3. Lisa, I'm one of those people who had the nursery ready before we were DTC. But as prepared as I thought I was, there was 10 times more to buy after we got Gwen and half of what I already got her was useless.

    Every baby is different so I recommend that you focus on the basic things like crib and high chair and car seat and bath toys and leave some of the specific things until after you get your little bundle of joy.

    Gwen's favorite toys at age 15 months are not "toys". She loves the cardboard price tag/card that hangs on the toy much more than the toy itself! She loves a wooden spoon to beat on a pie tin. She thinks the small pocket calculator is her own private TV remote control! An old set of keys that we ran through the diswasher is one of her favorite things too. In a pinch, a set of wood chopsticks will entertain her all the way through dinner at our favorite Chinese restraunt. But you won't know what baby S will want until she trains you to know! :)

  4. Anonymous6:28 PM

    "Also, if you're stressing, how do we deal with it?"

    M&M's. Mochas. Alchohol. Procrastination in the most extreme form.

  5. Anonymous7:25 PM

    I have no idea what to put on your registery. I made mine way too early, then after referral had to go redo it (because I had bought a lot of stuff or been given a lot of stuff).

    What I really wanted to say is I went through a real funk at about my 2-3rd month of waiting. I had started my nursery and then for some reason I just couldn't finish it. It was like the whole thing was just overwhelming to me. It just sat there with one wall stenciled. I felt horrible, like I should be doing something (since I had so much to do), but I just couldn't do it. Then one day it just kind of left. I wrote in my journal that I had the waiting for my baby blues or something like that. So I say just take it easy, relax and let it pass. Oh, and shopping really helped me..haha.

    Good luck and I hope you get to sleeping soon!

    New Momma to Amelia Rae JinYanFu

  6. Lisa:

    I can so relate because I am just about to finish 5 months of waiting and I am totally in a funk. I have registered at Baby's r Us and have been in and out of there several times after feeling totally overwhelmed. I have a 21 year old son and boy haves things changed in babyland since then. I am about 3/4 of the way though now and other than a couple of big items off of my packing list as well as stimulating toys and videos. If you go to the baby r us online site they will give you suggestion lists that are helpful.

    Also bringing an experienced mom with a young child helps a lot.

    Take care and stay in the moment...that is what I try to do daily.

  7. No help from this end. I'm totally clueless. Babies R Us scares me. ;-) You know who's a pro at this? Stacey Teague. She can help.

  8. Lisa -
    When I was pregnant 5 years ago, the first time I went into Babies R Us to register, I started to cry. There were so many bottles to choose from that I felt totally clueless and I burst into tears in the middle of the store.

    So, here I am adopting for #2 and I still feel clueless. haha It all seems so different this time but I know from experience that it will all work out. You can buy as much as you think you'll need and I promise you that you'll still be at BabiesRUs the week you get back or in the Target baby section.

    So the moral here is to not stress! Please know that you are not alone and that we all feel overwhelmed.

    P.S. -- your nursery is further along than mine if that makes you feel any better.

  9. Anonymous10:52 AM


    I hope that you are feeling better. I'm sorry I'll miss our October Italian Fest.

    On what to buy/what you need...I took a good and reasonable friend (and Mother of 3) to the overwhelming Babies R'Us and just put together a registry. She steered me toward what worked for her little ones (she's been through all ages) and away from the gimicky things I REALLY wanted!

    You can certainly look at my list on the Babies R' Us website, I already have some of the seat, high chair and nursery furniture.

    See you in November!

    Julie in Suwanee

  10. Thank you to everyone for your words of wisdom and advise. I have to say that one of my favorite pieces of advise is from Gawdessness...Maid service! I will be taking a trip to Babies r Us with an experienced Mom, which will hopefully prevent me from running from the store in fits of tears. We will see!

    Thanks again.

    Our Journey to Baby Shanahan

  11. We too have been asked to register... So in thinking this out... what will she definitely need that won't have anything to do with clothing size?

    Stroller, car seat, Diaper Genie, toys, baby monitor, high chair etc.... Our shower will be after we get our referral and they will know her size by then. Hope this idea helps. : )



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